STATE OF THE UNION

From size 18-20 to size 12-14. This has been a very good year. I can touch my toes once again from a standing position. I can remember when I had difficulty tying my shoes from a sitting position. My T'ai Chi instructor Min has added exercises to our morning routine. Later today I am due to go to a gym with a neighbor who is allowed to bring a guest. I look forward to that as much as I used to look forward to going out to eat.

I'm due to turn seventy on March 5^th. I feel 40.

I had no idea when I began this blog that I would go through such a change this year. I just knew I was one year short of seventy, and the ten year markers of birthdays always cause me to reappraise my life.

I live in senior housing, so I have a good-sized sampling of people in their 70's, 80's and even 90's just outside my door. I've had several years to watch people around me to see if there was anyone I would like to emulate. The people I watched the most are in their 80's and 90's and are still very active physically. Their minds are sharp and they are fun to listen to. I want that for myself.

This past year has been the best year of my life. Something clicked into place for me this year. I feel as if I have finally caught up with myself. I'm looking forward to crossing the threshold into the 70's. I'm chuck full of enthusiastic curiosity about what I will do and who I will become. Some of us are late bloomers. We save the best for last.

I've spent many years exploring myself and mining my own gold. As I was working at that, it didn't dawn on me that I would wind up benefiting from the practice. I just knew it was important to get to know myself and make good use of any gifts I had. I believe we all have that responsibility. As I was raising my children I told them, “There will be no privileges without responsibilities.” I accepted responsibilities as a way of life. Somewhere along the line, though, my privileges began adding up while I wasn't paying attention.

I have no debts. I am so healthy my doctor wants to make me his poster child. I have a wealth of incredible and gifted friends. I have time to do whatever pleases me. I have more than hope for the future. I have joy in the present.

REACHING GOALS

I still have a few months to go before I reach 70. I'm healthier than I was on my last birthday, and I am a few sizes smaller than I was then, too. I walk, exercise and do tai chi daily now. I even do a little jogging! (No one is more surprised about that, than me.) I wear sneakers most of the time now. ME. The one who hated sneakers. A friend told me if I keep at it, he's going to enter me into the Senior Olympics. I'm now weighing what I weighed in 2003 before I started packing on the pounds. That was back in the day when I lit up a cigarette, rather than eat a cookie. Now I am nicotine and sugar free.

There is no drama in my life. I don't do drama well, and if I don't do something well, I have learned to leave it to someone else. We can't all be good at everything. There is also no romance in my life. I failed miserably at that. I've always preferred simple friendship, so I've given myself that gift. At my age men are mostly interested in gaining a mother or a nurse. I did both things in the past. I'm retired now.

I go to bed between 7:00PM and 8:00PM each evening and I get up at 3:00AM. That works really well for me. I have breakfast at 4:00AM, lunch at 9:00AM and dinner around 2:00PM. That works really well for me. The advantages to living alone are too numerous to count.

Most days I go out at 9:30 and return home at noontime. It does me a world of good to get out among people of all ages, for I live in senior housing. I don't want my world to be made up entirely of retired people. I live where I do because it's very affordable, not out of any need to isolate myself from younger people.

When I first moved to New Jersey, all I brought with me was a new computer, my sewing machine and patterns and fishing gear. I had a plan. Knowing that plans don't always work out as I hope, I made plenty of allowances for error. It's only taken 16 years to get to the point that I am making doll clothes once again. I've worn out computers in that time, and written all I could ever want to write. I've only fished once, but this coming spring my license will be free, for in New Jersey you pay no fee once you hit 70. There are places to fish within walking distance of where I live. I simply needed to get into shape in order to want to take those walks. I'm there now.

I don't own a television. I considered getting one this year, and have decided to wait until I am 80. There are simply too many things I want to do that require my attention. Paying to sit and watch commercials still isn't one of those things I choose to do.

I don't own a smart phone. I like making eye contact with people and don't feel any need to have conversations and other experiences interrupted by me having to check a tiny computer screen. I do have a cell phone, but use it for making appointments and checking on rides. Now that there are no longer any pay phones in public, it's handy to have on hand.

I do own more than one laptop computer. I love being able to access the Internet. I am fascinated by the fact that I can take college courses for free! I may retake an art history course I took a couple of years ago. I enjoyed it that much. I use my computer as a word processor more than anything else, though. To me it's a portable typewriter that fits well in a large purse. I don't need access to the Internet to enjoy it.

Have I mentioned I no longer have wifi in my home? I tried going without it and find it's entirely possible. I read more books now. I get out and visit with people more often. There is wifi access at my library and I love any reason to go there!

When you are not quite seventy you have the advantage of being young enough to do anything at all, yet old enough to be as discerning as you want! I only do what works well for me now! It assures that I smile more than anyone I know.

UNDER THE ASIAN INFLUENCE

I have a neighbor named Min. Min is Chinese and does not speak English. I am American and don't speak Chinese, but under Min's tutelage I am having a Karate Kid experience. Min in my coach/teacher. I walk each morning, then do a round of exercises that she leads, then take a Tai Chi lesson. When Min smiles I become a happy child. It's a good thing because there's a real nip in the air at 7:00 AM and we do everything outside.

As a child, I had the common sense of a flea, and have never liked hats and gloves, but as I mimic Min I wear a skull cap and gloves when I work out. I'm not into suffering needlessly. The exercise reveals all sorts of things my aging body has difficulty doing. The cold brings my arthritic joints to life. Muscles that had not been used often sing out for attention. I can't stop that, but I can wear a hat and gloves!

Min executes everything gracefully. When I compare to her, I am one of the Keystone Cops, so I dare not compare to her. I laugh too much when I do! As I compare myself to myself, I can see slight progress. It has to do. Min doesn't appear to mind that I am learning so slowly. I think she's pleased that I want to learn.

One day Min asked (through an interpreter) how old I am, and when I told her I was 69 she laughed! To her I am young. That makes me wonder how old she is, but I don't dare to ask. As she stands on one leg with her hands clasped behind her back liftening and shaking a foot for an extended time, and I mimic, step on the ground, try again, and step on the ground, I marvel at her sense of balance. Min has destroyed any concept I held of a little old lady. She's taller than the other Chinese women and could lead a class of young women and give them a true work out.

When East meets West, West benefits.   

AGING WITH GRACE

As I bump into things with my shopping cart at the grocery store, I turn to people around me and say, “Grace is my middle name.” I can remember as a girl when boys would line up to dance with me during dance contests because I was always one of the winners. I did fine as long as the music was playing. Once it stopped I tripped over my own feet on my way to sit down. As I age, I am reminded of the old Mary Tyler Moore TV series where Dick Van Dyke would trip over a hassock on a regular basis. Prat falls are within my expertise. They aren't intentional. Once or twice a year I find the irregularity in pavement and am down for the count, usually landing on my nose. If life had a theme song, mine would be a chorus: “She flies through the air with the greatest of ease”. Just last weekend I gained a fat lip from an encounter with a curb as I crossed a street. Since I was in downtown Princeton at the time, I walked to a local ice cream shop and got a chocolate sugar cone. Apply cold to swelling,,,right? Ice cream therapy eases such things, and also helps to compensate for the embarrassment of having a small crowd form around me as I was lying by the curb.

I'm dodging cataract surgery. As the light dims in my little world, I look better to myself in the mirror. For that matter, everyone looks better. I don't see little flaws as easily. The only problem with that is I don't see clearly enough to know when I need to clean out the refrigerator, or when there are spots on the bathroom tile from washing my hair after I color it. I have solved that problem now. A housekeeper comes in once a week! I know! I know! Eventually I will have to have the surgery, but at least when I do, I will see a sweetly spotless home. As lovely Rachel pulled apart my refrigerator yesterday and scrubbed it, I marveled that she bends and twists so easily. I couldn't make those moves even if my eyes worked properly.

Since I signed up for housekeeping, I thought I might as well go the whole route so I signed up for a noontime meal in the dining room where I live in senior housing. I get to go out to eat without going out! Rachel's husband Abby is the server. He's as warm and caring as Rachel is. I feel like a well loved mother with loving adult children. When we surround ourselves with caring adults, growing old feels like being five years old. We can do all sorts of things and can learn anything, but we don't have provide for ourselves or do the chores other than washing a few dishes or taking out the trash. All that is required of me is to swallow my pride and say “Please!” and “Thank you!”

The grace that comes with aging, is in those people around me who care enough to lift me up from the curb, clean my home and serve me dinner. I just have to show up. Put on some music, and move the hassock. I can do this thing!

THE PAUSE THAT REFRESHES

I went to the doctor yesterday, and now I have to make an appointment with a heart specialist. NOT QUITE SEVENTY takes on a whole new meaning. As a sober alcoholic of nearly forty years, I have already acquired the habit of living one day at a time. I am reminded now of my early sobriety when each day seemed especially precious. I was only thirty then. I found out I was pregnant and had cancer and my husband left me...all in my first few weeks. Life was stressful to say the least. I was young. I was determined. I learned to trust God.

So here I sit, curious about what the future might hold, or even how long the future might be, but other than conquering nervousness about dealing with doctors, I can't think of any stress in my life at all! I have commented often that my life has gotten so enjoyable that I must be going to die soon. My sense of humor keeps kicking in. Laughing at myself is one of my favorite pass times.

When I was younger, I took life too seriously. I learned to let go and laugh and decided about twenty years ago that I was here just for the fun of it all now.

I colored my hair in June. Initially I looked like Ronald  MacDonald's grandmother, which is what happens when you add auburn coloring to white hair. I added more brown to the coloring the next time I colored it and I look slightly better now. People have told me I look years younger. I have wanted to ask, "Just how old did I look before?"

In July I began power walking for twenty minutes each morning. I felt like Rocky Balboa as I returned home and hopped into the shower. My blood pressure dropped below 120/80 and I was delighted. Yesterday the Physician's Assistant told me not to power walk. She said I can take a stroll, but not to force anything. (That's no fun!) A friend suggested that I listen to music or a recorded book as I take my walks.  I can do that. I'm a bit of a space shot, though. I can picture myself getting all caught up in a book and tripping over my own feet.

Many years ago a spiritual adviser asked me if I was willing to fail at everything I attempted. It was a startling question. I've thought of it often, as I watched relationships and activities that I poured my energy into go up in smoke.  Being willing to lose, to chalk up my losses and carry on has given me a very full life. Now that there is less time ahead of me than there is behind me, I ask myself if there is anything I really want to do.

I'd like to have a vacation that includes time walking on a beach.  I could stroll easily there.

Slow Me Down Lord

Slow me down Lord
Ease the pounding of my heart
by the quieting of my mind.

Steady my hurried pace
with a vision of the eternal march of time.
Give me amid the confusion of the day,
the calmness of the eternal hills.

Break the tension of my nerves and muscles
with the soothing music of the singing streams
that live in my memory.

Help me to know the magical restoring power of sleep.

Teach me the art of taking MINUTE vacations,
Of slowing down to look at a flower,
to chat with a friend,
to pat a dog,
to read a few lines of a good book.

Slow me down Lord
and inspire me to send my roots
deep into the soil of life's enduring values
that I may grow toward the stars of my greater destiny.

 Author: Wilfred A. Peterson

CHOCOLATE CHUCKLE CAKE

I baked a cake yesterday. I allowed it to bake an extra five minutes and it still fell in the middle. I covered one piece in canned raspberry pie filling, and later had a piece with fresh strawberries. Both were delicious, but more like having a moist brownie with fruit than a piece of cake. Another case of "making due" that may not have looked incredible, but tasted just fine.  I identified with my cake.
There are those who would refer to me as "half baked".

Will I make this cake again? Sure I will. I will simply set the oven higher than 350 degrees. I'm one of those "try, try again" people. I'll get it right eventually.  I'm not in life to impress anyone. I'm here for the fun of it all. I have more fun sharing my "failures" than my successes now. When I succeed I just grin and carry on. It's when I fail that I run to find someone so I can share a chuckle.